Why I Hate uva | Virginia Tech Men's Basketball

Why I Hate uva

Reposted from February 8th

Hmm, why I hate uva… This might be the easiest article I’ve ever had to write for TechHoops.com. The only trouble will be composing my thoughts. I’ll make it easy on myself and just turn this into a laundry list. Feel free to add your own in the comments…

Elitism: It isn’t the campus, it is the ‘grounds’. I’m not a Junior, I’m a ‘third year’. I’m not a Business major, I’m a ‘commerce’ major. I’m not a college student, I’m a ‘douche bag’.
Uppity Men: Get over yourself. You aren’t an Ivy League school, no matter how much you tell yourself you are. If you were that smart, you’d be at harvard or princeton. Even uva’s nerds are lessers - if they were that big of a nerd, they’d be at duke.

Ties to a Football Game: How lame is this? It is FOOTBALL. Not church. Not a polo match. It is 22 men doing battle in the trenches. No wonder they can’t build a winner. al groh has tried to change this… good luck.
The Guy Wearing the Pink Dress Shirt in the uva student section at the uva/duke basketball game: No need to expand on this.
Gigantic Diplomas: Have you seen the size of a uva diploma? It is like a poster! Three trees die just to make one. Talk about an inferiority complex.
jason cain’s cheesy mustache: OK, Adam Morrison was able to pull it off because he had game. Chicks will get with anyone that’s going to make millions, no matter how bad they look. cain - you have no game - shave it.
‘Our Arena/Stadium is Prettier than Yours’: Ha! Who cares? I love the intimacy of Lane and the Cassell. We are a blue collar school with blue collar facilities. Makes you feel like a man, instead of at a ballet.
mikalaukas’s Shoulder Zits: Trust me, you’ll see this one on Saturday. He needs to follow Diddy’s lead and get Proactiv. (Random: Is there a funnier moment on TV than when Diddy says in the Proactiv commercial, ‘It helps me keep my sexy’?)
4th Year Fifth: Every uva student is supposed to drink a fifth of liquor before their final football home game. Umm, that’s called a normal tailgate at VT.
wahoos: Where does a school with the nickname ‘wahoos’ get off making fun of ‘Hokies’? What’s that? It’s a fish that can drink 10 times its weight? Uh huh. (see last point)
VT is rednecks: They seem to forget we all pretty much went to the same high schools. 25% NOVA, 25% Richmond/Tidewater, 25% the rest of VA, 25% out of state. Does that mean they are rednecks?
‘unc’s our rival’: Um, yeah, that’s why unc and duke are playing on ESPN Wednesday night during ‘Rivalry Week’ and you are playing us. uva likes to thumb their nose down at us and think we aren’t worth their time. That is what makes each victory over them that much sweeter.
al groh: I actually love al groh as uva’s football coach. He’s so easy to hate! He’s playing chess, everyone else checkers. He’s wearing tucked in sweatshirts. He looks brain-dead. He is 1-17 as a road dog. He can’t beat VT! What more can you ask for in a rival coach? www.dontfirealgroh.com/
Uppity Women: I don’t think you get any action there unless you are Prez of a fraternity. (Do they even call them fraternities? Or are they ’social clubs’?) Or if you are filthy rich, then you get women. All my buddies that were normal guys when they went there came out with serious insecurities about women. Get over yourself, baby. If you were that pretty, you’d be at a SEC school or a sweater girl on the sidelines of a usc game. And if you were that smart… see above.
Don’t Advertise Your School: If we looked at the percent of VT grads that have VT license plates or stickers on their car compared to uva, I bet the numbers would be staggering. And don’t give me crap that a decal on a pick-up truck isn’t a big deal while it is on a BMW. That pretty much sums up what you think of your school.
Jefferson’s University: Please! I’m sure he’d be real proud of all you uppity, wine-and-cheese, pink-shirt-wearin’, bourbon-drinkin’ losers. How dare you taint a great Virginian’s name. I won’t even go to the Jefferson Memorial anymore because of you elitist punks.

Posted by:

Niemo
February 8th, 2007
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5 Responses to “Why I Hate uva”

Comment #113 | February 8th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Dave Woods Says:

I began hating uva in 1987 when I realized the admission application was a collection of required essays to expound on how terrific uva was and why I was terrific enough to be considered for admission. I actually remember throwing away the application. I bounced it off my Doors banner and into the VTÃ‚Â trashcan that I got from my older brother.Ã‚Â That trashcanÃ‚Â is still in my office at home today. Oh the tales it could tell.

My hate expanded on a ski lift at WhitefaceÃ‚Â in 1989 when the uva douchebag sitting next to me flat out said (paraphrasing) “my school is better than yours.” Later we stuck him in a trashcan in the basement and shaved one eyebrow off.

Again my hate grew after the football BLOWOUT in 1999 at craplettesville when an ugly chick exclaimed “we lost but you’ll be working for us one day.”

And finally my hate was cemented when I made the mistake of attending the Foxfield horsey races. The uva douchebaggery at this event is fully manifested. Popped collars and men in pastels are de riguer for even the entry-level douchebag. That, combined with the obscene flaunting of elitism and entitlement makes Foxfield an event worthy of carpet bombing.

Two final comments:

1) VT engineering is actually rated higher than its counterpart at uva, I have twice had the great pleasure of pointing this out to uva douchebags claiming their academic superiority.

2) The ugly chick was right — I do actually work for a wahoo.

(These comments are just in fun for game week, I have lots of friends from uva who are super duper. But not during game week.)
Comment #123 | February 9th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Haner McGee Says:

Correction…UVA girls are actually easy sloots.
Comment #124 | February 9th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Vince Says:

Nice list! However, in your last item, what’s wrong with drinking bourbon? It’s better than all the wine and fru-fru drinks I see folks around here consume. That said, your 1st item hits the nail on the head!

Go Hokies!
Comment #125 | February 9th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Niemo Says:

My insult was more meant that they don’t do the 4th year 5th until they are done with college. Believe me, I’m a big bourbon fan although I’m partial to Scotch (Glenlivet - 12). 1792 is a great bourbon no one knows about.
Comment #126 | February 9th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Tech Sports Blog » Blog Archive » Pumped for the big game Says:

[...] If you still need your fill of previews for the game, be sure to check out HokiesFullCourt.com and TechHoops.com. They both have articles written by Wahoos, as well as their normal game previews. And I’m sure Techsideline.com will have their preview up soon. TechHoop’s why I hate UVA is fairly amusing, as well. [...]

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5 Responses to “Why I Hate uva”

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